Tag: wedding crashers

• “You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!”
  • This is what Allen Robinson owners are saying to the so-called experts who told them to draft A-Rob over Amon-Ra.

• “I know it doesn’t feel like it but we’re making progress.”
  • Dereck Henry hasn’t had a trademark Dereck Henry game yet, but he has been much better the past two weeks and is starting to look faster and the Titans have another game this week against a bad Commanders Defense.

• “Sandbagging son of a bitch!”
  • Mike Tomlin was holding George Pickens hostage under the QB play of Mitch Trubisky for the first three weeks. When Kenny Pickett got put in the game we saw what everyone saw from Pickens in camp and preseason. Head coaches love nothing more than sandbagging when it comes to talented rookie QB’s that could be franchise guys. Look at Justin Herbert, Pat Mahomes, Lamar Jackson and even Baker Mayfield. All of them were forced to sit out seasons, or part of seasons when they gave their teams a better chance of winning.

• “Tatoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.”
  • “Established starting QB with proven rushing upside in the 6th round? Might as well be a bullseye.” Guys who took Jalen Hurts in one QB leagues after the first wave of QBs are feeling like real geniuses right now after his first four weeks that have him as QB3.

• “Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts!”
  • People ignoring the warning signs of drafting Zeke. Backup who is clearly better? Clearly doesn’t have the same burst. Erroneous on both counts.

• “I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup.”
  • I happen to know everything there is to know about drafting receivers first. Number one target in elite offenses, less risk of injury, safer picks. If only Jonathon Taylor wasn’t so damn good people would have universally taken Justin Jefferson 1st.

• “Grow up Peter Pan. Count Chocula.”
  • This isn’t 2007. You can survive on elite receiver play and have only one reliable running back. Injuries exist and waivers and trades are your best friend. Grow up and move on from LaDainian Tomlinson’s 2003 season.

• “Rule 76 no excuses play like a champion.”
  • Even if you drafted Kyle Pitts in the 3rd round, or have dealt with injuries. Hunt the waivers and trade market and find the next Jeff Wilson or Romeo Doubbs. Or blackmail the idiot in your league and get their WR1 for two borderline flexes!

• “Hello, Red.”
  • Hello Andy Dalton and thank you for being better than Jameis and allowing the Saint’s skill positions to produce.

• “Make me a bicycle clown!”
  • Give Kyle Pitts a red zone target Arthur Smith you clown.

• “We gotta get outta here, we got a stage five clinger.”
  • Anyone who picked Clyde Edwards Helaire has to trade him while they still can. He is not even the lead running back on the Chiefs. He has only had 50% or more of the snap share once this season and relying on a short running back to continue to get goal line receiving touchdowns is very risky. Get out while his value is high.

• “Crabcakes and football! That’s what Maryland does!”
  • Cooper Kupp and Matt Stafford connecting for 10 completions for 100 yards. That’s what the Rams do and we were crazy for thinking their success last year wouldn’t be repeated.

• “It wouldn’t kill you to play some competitive sports, Todd.”
  • This is surely what Tom Brady is saying to his receivers who refuse to all be healthy at the same time and allow Brady to look like the Brady of years past.

• “Nature Vs. nurture. And nature always wins.”
  • Mid to late-round rookie WRs vs veterans who might give you eight points on a bye week. The rookies always win. Thank you Chris Olave, Drake London, and hopefully now George Pickens. Jalen Tolbert, I hate your guts.

• “Why don’t you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family. Have some real problems, jackass.”
  • Try being the guy who has to decide which TE to stream everyweek, and have some real problems, jackass.

• “I hope you flip your bike over and knock out your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch.”
  • Every league seems to have the guy that hit the running back lottery, and now has Jamaal Williams and Jeff Wilson sitting on their bench. To you my friend, I hope to see you in the dentist office sooner than later.

• “The painting was a gift Todd, I’m taking it with me.”
  • To the guy who threw Chris Olave into a trade as a filler after week one, no you cannot have him back now that the red rifle is leading the Saints to the promise land.

• “I’m reading don’t kill myself books.”
  • Anyone who gambled on the unknown that was Trey Lance almost immediately regretted it after a tough performance in a monsoon against the Bears, then a season-ending injury the next week. They likely have one of these books in their amazon cart.

• “What an idiot! OHHH what a loser!!”
  • Can’t have a crasher’s article without the iconic Chaz Reinhold making an appearance on the list. This is anyone who drafted Amon-Ra referring to anyone who drafted Diontae Johnson ahead of the star in Detroit. All the signs were there last year. How could we all be such idiots and losers?